When Worlds Colide
by Lana Konte
Summary: Pretender/Buffy: Jarod comes to invsetigate the murders in sunnyvale while the goddesses of mischief cause mayhem. a work in progress, *updated with an authors note*
1. Chapter 1

Lady Lana says: I was bored, the internet was taken, I couldn't work on my dating fanfic, cause my rents would ground me from now to eternity, so I came up with the weirdest thing my sicko mind could come up with under the circumstances. Actually, its not that bad. I don't own anything, that includes money, books, six-string guitars, and three headed dogs. Hermy, Lianne, and Sandry please don't kill me. Hermy belongs, and is based on, Hermione; Lianne belongs to Princess Lianne of Conte; and Sandry belongs to Lady Sandriline fa Toren. Lady Lana and the idea for the four goddesses of mischief belongs to me, as does Lana's temper.  
  
Brooklyn, New York.  
  
Jarod looked around with a satisfied look on his face. Another Pretend completed, and Miss Parker had yet to be seen. He could safely move on to his next planned pretend. He looked down to read the address written on the paper he held in his hand.  
  
"When's the next flight to Los Angeles?"  
  
San Francisco, California.  
  
A teenage female voice rang out, "Can we have a three-headed dog?"  
  
Her long, curly hair bounced neatly up and down.  
  
"No!" came a chorus of three voices.  
  
"Come on, I'm bored, we haven't ruined anything in the past few hours." The voice belonged to different female. Her hair looked liked someone had gone green paint-happy. The effect was startling.  
  
"Well, we could shut down the electric power grid of a major city." The third girl gave her straight, brown hair a curt toss.  
  
"No, we've already done that." The fourth speaker's jet black hair was tied up in a neat pony tail.  
  
"People, can we just do something!" Green said in an exasperated tone.  
  
"Can we get a three headed dog?" Curly began jumping up and down from pure happiness.  
  
"Help!!!!!!" Green's voice carried as she looked in complete exasperation at Black, who could only laugh at her friends look. "Okay, people, I have an idea."  
  
"Will it involve a three headed dog?" Curly, of course, asked.  
  
"Should we start running now?" Black asked in a complete non-worried voice.  
  
"Will it cause more mischief?" Brown asked mischievously.  
  
"No, no, and yes. In that order." Green smiled mysteriously. "Ladies and Gentlemen, hang on tight, cause were going to LA!"  
  
"Will there be a three headed dog?"  
  
Blue Cove, Delaware.  
  
"Miss Parker, Miss Parker!" Broots yelled as he ran after his pissed off boss. "I think I got a lead on Jarod!"  
  
"Well, why didn't you say so?!"  
  
"Parker, he did." Sydney only got a glare for his troubles.  
  
"I think he's going to L.A.!"  
  
LAX.  
  
Jarod got off the plane and looked around. Satisfied that no one was following him he headed for the baggage claim. Miss Parkers voice quickly stopped him.  
  
"What do you mean you don't know where he is?!" her voice could have been heard three cities over.  
  
"W-w-well y-you see, we only know he landed in LA, we don't know where he's going from here." Broots looked like he was about to pass out from fright under Miss Parker's glare.  
  
Jarod smiled quickly. If he got out of here fast enough, then he just might be able to get himself a few extra days. Quickly he headed towards the baggage claim, only to run straight into four quibbling teenage girls.  
  
"I need my clothes!" The one who seemed to be the leader screamed at the other three. Her green hair gave her a startling look.  
  
"And what about my little three-headed dog?" Her curly haired friend asked.  
  
"You don't have a three headed dog, Hermy!" The speaker's brown hair fell down to her shoulders.  
  
"Why do we need thirty suitcases anyway?" The fourth girl's black hair was up in a pony tail.  
  
"Come on, we'll go look through all the baggage claims. How many planes could have landed in LA from San Francisco anyway?" Without waiting for an answer and completely ignoring Black's question, Green started off in the same direction as the man who had just ran into them.  
  
Bus from LA.  
  
Jarod started out the window. The bus was empty except for the four girls he had run into at the airport. He was quite certain they were crazy, and was attempting to tune out their loud and obnoxious conversation. He had plenty of more important things to think about. Like the city he was going to. It was more of a town, really. He was sure Miss Parker wouldn't follow him here, she was still looking for him in LA. The town had captured his curiosity a few months before. He had been looking at various charts, looking to see which town had the highest mortality rate. For a town its size, the town he was going to, had topped all the charts. The interesting thing was, most of the victims had died from two puncture wounds in the neck. Also, there were a lot of missing high school students. Most of them, had disappeared at night. It was quiet an interesting town, and he already had a pretend set up for himself. Smiling slightly to himself, he drifted off amid arguments about three headed dogs and how to best trip people.  
  
In this way, no one aboard the bus noticed the spray painted message on the welcome sign that said :"Enter all who wish to come, but none may leave, alive."  
  
  
  
Lady Lana says: So, what do you people think? Yes, there is a reason this is a Buffy crossover. Yes, Mrs. Parker will be chasing Jarod. And yes, the mischief goddesses will be doing what their best at. 


	2. Chapter 2

Lady Lana: The internet is taken so I can't upload this story. It's actually turning out really good. All suggestions send in to me. Oh, the gym teacher? Those of you who read the Gatekeeper trilogy will recognize her, and all intended puns. The idea for the "poof" room perfect, came from Sandry. Oh, Jarod takes place sometime or other, it really doesn't matter that much. Buffy takes place in season three but it's B/A, C/X, and W/O. I know this never happened in "real life".  
  
Somewhere in LA.  
  
"So all we know is that someone who doesn't exist, named Jarod Rasp, bought a plane ticket to LA. Which is why we're here. Is that it?" Miss Parker tried to remain patient as she muttered all of this out.  
  
"W-w-well, y-yes. That's actually it." Broots managed to stutter out.  
  
"Argh!!" Miss Parker looked ready to kill someone. "How about we go and try to find a needle in a haystack! We'd have better luck."  
  
"Well, I did a trace on Jarod Rasp, and he disappeared, but three men named Jarod bought bus tickets that same day." Broots added in quickly.  
  
"Well." Miss Parker urged him on.  
  
"Their ages are 15, 37, and 77." Broots said. "Which one do you want me to track?"  
  
Sydney stifled a laugh.  
  
Miss Parker nearly turned purple from rage. Instead of answering she just glared at Broots.  
  
"Um, well the 37-year-old, Jarod Corbet, bought a ticket to a town called Sunnydale." Broots added slightly uncertainly.  
  
"Why aren't we on our way there?" Miss Parker demanded to know.  
  
"It just seems too easy." Broots quickly replied.  
  
"Well, maybe Jarod just tired of his games. Either way, we will be in Sunnydale, at the same time as Jarod." The last statement was said with extra force by Miss Parker.  
  
In a small mansion in Sunnydale.  
  
"Cool, we get our own mansion." Brown looked impressed.  
  
"Well, we are goddesses." Green said this if it was the most ordinary thing in the world.  
  
"Can we get a three headed dog?" Hermy asked with big, puppy dog eyes.  
  
"What are we going to do now?" Black asked, completely ignoring Hermy's comment.  
  
"I heard the local high school's really good." Green looked ready to cackle.  
  
"Um, hello. We make other people's life's hell, not our own." Brown looked completely revolted at the idea of going to high school. "We already suffered through four years of torture!"  
  
"We could make the high school students life's hell!!!!" Hermy jumped up and down with brilliance of her own idea.  
  
"When you put it that way." Brown's eyes suddenly began to twinkle at the possibilities.  
  
"Can I get the big room?" Hermy asked.  
  
"They're all big, Hermy." Green replied with exasperated patience.  
  
"Well, there's four bedrooms right here, and there's four of us." Brown pointed at four doors on the upper floor. They each randomly chose a door.  
  
Green's room was completely black, the only color was the green stars on the ceiling. Black's room was purple. Brown's room was blue. And Hermy's room was. white with pink rabbits?!  
  
"Ahhhhh!" Hermy's scream echoed across the mansion.  
  
"What's wrong?" Green asked as she ran up along with Black and Brown. Hermy just pointed a trembling hand at her room.  
  
"Oh - never mind." Black waived her hand at Hermy's room. It was instantly covered with pictures of three headed dogs. With a scowl the four goddesses went off to create their biographies for the school.  
  
Sunnydale High School.  
  
"Hello, I'm Jarod Corbet, the new librarian?" Jarod told/asked the principle.  
  
"Assistant librarian." Principle Snyder amended. "We already have a completely useless librarian, don't know why we need two of them." With that statement Snyder turned and walked away, leaving Jarod standing in the middle of the teachers lounge.  
  
"Um, where's the library?" Jarod asked the gym teacher.  
  
"Oh, are you the new librarian?" the gym teacher looked highly curious. "Well, yeah. If I find the library."  
  
The gym teacher laughed hardily. "Well I hope you're more sane than our current librarian. He's just strange."  
  
"Really."  
  
"Yeah, got some time?"  
  
"Not really, I should be getting to the library."  
  
"Oh, well. I'll see you around." The gym teacher sounded highly disappointed.  
  
Jarod quickly made his way to the library. As he pushed in the doors, the librarian who was already there nearly hit the ceiling.  
  
"Oh, hello. You must be Jarod Corbet, I'm Rupert Giles."  
  
Lady Lana says: The school I go to is in hell so I'll be updating sparingly. Ten reviews at least! 


	3. Chapter 3

Lana says: School is hell? Who am I kidding, hell is nothing compared to it! Sorry about the lack of updates, I have been suffering from grounding, lack of sleep, writer's block, and school insanity. Also, I've added times. Sorry, if it's not in complete chronological order.  
  
Zantac the Barbarian, I'm working on my anger management classes, I really am! Hey, at least there were no dead bodies! ^pushes something underneath bed^  
  
Lady: Thanks!  
  
Anonymous: Um, okay. No comment.  
  
~~~~~~~Sunnydale High. Wednesday morn. Same time as Jarod starts his new job~~~~  
  
"Four, new students, hmm, that's unusual." The secretary said to the four young ladies in front of her. The shortest girls hair was up in a ponytail, her scowl seemed permanently imprinted on her face. Her green eyes almost seemed to glow. The tallest girl had long, curly hair. Standing still seemed almost impossible for her. The two middle girls had black and brown hair in ponytails. They didn't seem to care about what was going around them.  
  
"Unusual? Whatever, are we in this school or not?" The short girl snapped out.  
  
"Well, yes, of course, um, Hermy." The secretary mumbled out while choosing one of the four names randomly.  
  
"I'm Lana, that's Hermy." Lana scowled out at the poor secretary. She paused for a second, and seemed to add as an after though. "And that's Lianne and Sandry." And pointed at the brunette and raven haired ones respectively.  
  
"That's sweet." The secretary said smiling at Lana, which in return got her a scowl. "Why, don't you four go up to the library? You can get the books you need for your classes. I think the new librarian is up there also."  
  
"There's a library?!" Sandry seemed to almost light up at the thought.  
  
"No, Sandry, we moved to a planet where people can't read." Lana's voice had enough sarcasm to drown a fish.  
  
"Can we just go?" Lianne still seemed bored.  
  
~~~~~~~~SHS library, Wed. morn.~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Um, yes, Principal Snyder mentioned that we would be getting a new librarian." Giles told the young man standing in front of him.  
  
"I wasn't sure exactly on what my, job description, is." Jarod  
  
"Well, we don't exactly have a lot of students in he-" Giles was interrupted by the entrance of four teenage girls. "How can I help you?"  
  
"We're new." Lana snapped back at him.  
  
"Um, yes, what grades?" Giles quickly went over to the one shelf in the whole library that actually had school books on it.  
  
"Sophomore, Junior, Junior, Senior" Lianne told the ceiling more than the librarian. As Giles went to get the books, Buffy, Xander, Cordelia, Oz, and Willow entered the library.  
  
"How can I help you?" Jarod approached the small group, wondering about Giles's comment about a lack of students in the library.  
  
"Um, we need to talk to the librarian, but if he's busy, we'll come back later." Buffy was also wondering about the excess amount of people in the library.  
  
"Well, can I help you? I'm the knew assistant librarian." Jarod said perkily.  
  
"It's okay, we'll come back later." Buffy told Jarod as the Scoobies beat a haste retreat out of the library. As they were leaving, Giles returned with the books for the four new girls, who had been watching everything through bored eyes. Handing the books to the girls he bid them a hasty good bye.  
  
"Well, if that's "little students" I'd hate to see what you mean by a lot." Jarod joked.  
  
"Usually, the library is quite empty." Giles replied, and wondered along with everyone else about the stir up in libraric activity.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~Outside SHS, after school~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"That was an interesting day." Hermy said perkily, as usual.  
  
"Yeah, really interesting. Remind me why were doing this again?" Lianne seemed less than thrilled.  
  
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the four or five lockers that got jammed right before gym?" Hermy giggled out.  
  
"See, all my plans are wonderful." Lana boasted, as she climbed into the drivers seat of her green convertible.  
  
"Yeah, half the school will be needing crutches soon. It will be the new fashion statement!" Sandry declared with great enthusiasm. "You still haven't told us the full reason we're here." Hermy reminded her. "And it better include three headed dogs!'  
  
"First of all, figure it out yourselves! And second of all, I thought you we're passed your three headed dog stage!" Lana snapped as she drove the car out of the parking lot, causing a minor accident behind her.  
  
"It's not a stage!" Hermy told her with a pout.  
  
"Well, what I happened to overhear, is that the blonde girl and her friends who were in the library with us are, like, the biggest trouble makers in school." Lianne told everyone in the car.  
  
"Hmmm, and do they have names?" Lana enquired as she ran another red light.  
  
"Not yet, but I heard that one of them blew up their old school." Lianne said almost gleefully.  
  
"Boys and girls, I think we found our slayer." Lana declared with an evil grin.  
  
"What boys?"  
  
~~~~~~At the Sunnydale bus depot. Wednesday night.~~~~~~~~  
  
Miss Parker was beyond ready to kill someone. This day was going completely against her. She had a lead on Jarod, one she was certain was false, and she couldn't care less. On the way to the tiny town, the car Sidney had quickly rented at the airport broke down. More precisely, all of the gasoline had mysteriously disappeared. Thought she knew it had nothing to do with Jarod, she was more than inclined to blame it on him. Then they had, had to wait for a bus to Sunnydale. Miss Parker couldn't remember the last time she had been on a public bus. Actually, she wasn't sure she had ever been on one. Then, since this was her lucky day, the bus had broken down. The bus driver wasn't even sure how, it just stopped moving. And now, the trio found themselves at the bus station. It was completely run down. The fact that it was dark out wasn't helping, anything. With a sigh, Miss Parker picked up her suitcase thinking that heads were going to be rolling soon. She didn't know how true her words were.  
  
  
  
Lady Lana: reviews=inspiration=more updates=a really funny scene the goddesses came up with, or you could just tell me my story sucks, I won't mind, really. ^sharpens knife^ And is it my imagination or has my writing improved, please, be truthful, I really want to know. Oh, if you're wondering, Green is Lana, Curly is Hermy, Black is Sandry, and Brown is Lianne. I think it was pretty clear. 


	4. Chapter 4 unfinished

Lady Lana says: Yay, a weekend with no homework! Hence the new chapter. The new season of Buffy rocks! Okay, on with the fic. It has been pointed out to me that I have made a few errors, from now on, what's in this chapter is the correct version.  
  
Idkmonsiwnou: Nice name. Thanks! How'd you know I like TP? ^looks at Sandry pointing at the names of the Goddesses^ Oh. I knew that.  
  
Fastpilot: Thanks, yeah, I knew that was a compliment. ^silently thanks seventh grade English teacher^  
  
Kel/Hermy: Bug off, I told you why. Yes, I can tell you to bug off. ^Runs from fling lollipops heading towards her head.^  
  
Sandry: Oops, I knew that! Working on your character, really I'm trying, but she isn't talking to me! ^ignores strange glances in her direction^  
  
Zili: Thanks, three headed dog belongs to Hermy, she asks me for one every lunch.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Wednesday evening, Goddess mansion~~~~~~~  
  
"Oh, thank god, I can finally take off my pony tail!" Lana (Green) happily shook out her hair.  
  
"Um, why did you need a pony tail in the first place?" Lianne (Brown) asked with a highly confused look on her face.  
  
"If you see a person with green highlights putting, I don't know, beetles in your soup, what's the first thing you'd notice?" Lana asked exasperatedly.  
  
"That they're putting beetles in my soup." Sandry (Black) stated flatly.  
  
"Well, yeah, but you'd then notice that they had green hair!" Lana said this if it was the most ordinary thing in the world.  
  
"Couldn't you just, I don't know, magically, change your hair?" Sandry's comment caused Lana to freeze in her tracks and Hermy to burst out laughing.  
  
"Moving on, what are you wearing to the Bronze?" Lana asked with a quick change of topic. "Don't forget tomorrow is the first day we get to go to our classes, we don't want to be too recognizable." (LLs: I know, I know, you usually go to classes on your first day of school, but sue me! Actually don't, I'm broke, again. Sandry.)  
  
A clap of thunder, coming from Lianne, sounded in the middle of the mansion. When it's accompanying smoke cleared, the four goddesses were highly changed. Lana's short, black hair now had deep red highlights in it. Her red tank top tied up from the back, and her mini-skort barely covered two inches of her thighs. She grinned as she looked down her outfit. Lianne's brown-black hair was down in waves. A blue off-one shoulder tee and a pair of blue cut-off khakis completed the look. Sandry's black hair was back in it's pony tail. She had gone for the more modest, actually covering the shoulders with a purple tee look. Her black jeans actually came to her ankles. Hermy's curly hair had gotten three shades darker in some places, and lighter in others. She had settled for a soft pink tank and black skirt, that almost reached her knees. Lana looked around the room.  
  
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the party is about to begin."  
  
~~~~~~~Across the street~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"It seems as if you have some new neighbors." Buffy mentioned to the lights in the mansion across the street with her head.  
  
"Four teenage girls, didn't see any adults, though." Angel said thoughtfully.  
  
"Four?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
"Nothing big, there were just four new girls in school today."  
  
"Well, people do move in to this city, the real estate is really cheap."  
  
"I wonder why." Buffy replied dryly.  
  
"Not every single person who moves into this city is going to try to kill you."  
  
"Yeah, only every other one." Buffy still looked slightly worried.  
  
"As long as they're not some demon - wait a second - why would a demon go to high school?" Angle quickly, and rather abruptly, asked.  
  
"Well, Xander's ex-girlfriends, both of them, went to high school." Buffy replied, this time trying not laugh.  
  
"If it would make you feel any better, I'll look around, before the girls start doing anything suspicious."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Two blocks from the Bronze ~ Wednesday~~~~~~~~~~~ Miss Parker felt like screaming. She could not believe they were lost. This was just the perfect ending to the perfect day.  
  
"Broots!" She tried to take out all of her impatience and exhaustion and just plain annoyance on the unlucky technician.  
  
Lana: Okay, I know this chapter isn't finished, but I wanted to get it off of my computer ASAP. The story will be continued as soon as a)I'm not grounded b)school ends or all the teachers get some weird disease where they stop giving homework and tests and c) I actually have access to a computer. I'm thinking some time in May. Reviews mean that I may update quicker. 


End file.
